The Beginning of an Uncertain Future
by GryffindorCriss
Summary: The letter arrived at breakfast on the Monday; the children were blissfully unaware of what it meant, of course, but their parents knew better upon seeing the official Ministry seal on the back of the envelope. (OR: Tina leaves her family to go to war)
1. Chapter 1

**This was prompted by an anon on tumblr, who asked, "I want angst. Please. Maybe Tina leaving her family because of the war."**

 **This is going to be multi-chaptered to fit into more readable instalments**

 **So I kinda started to feel some inspiration for writing something to do with the war after I watched "Dunkirk" with my little sister, and I've been thinking about both Tina's feelings if she's sent off and the entire family's too.**

 **It was impossible to really fit it in exactly with any of my other Scamander-Children stories, but I did want to use the children I'd already created – for that reason, we're saying that the story is sort of an AU/alternate pathway to what happened after "Lay Your Body Down"… This means that only Phoenix, Linnet and Leo are born. It could have happened in the following fics/in the place of "A Glimpse of Sunlight" but it didn't…I don't know if that makes sense. Either way, I hope you enjoy.**

 **Phoenix – 22nd June 1931 – 8-9**  
 **Linnet – 13th January 1933 - 7**  
 **Leo – 3rd March 1935 - 5**

 **Set in 1940.**

* * *

The letter arrived at breakfast on the Monday; the children were blissfully unaware of what it meant, of course, but their parents knew better upon seeing the official Ministry seal on the back of the envelope.

Newt watched silently as Tina opened the letter, her fingers trembling just the smallest amount, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He knew already what the letter would contain: Theseus had received one just a month beforehand, as had many others on the Investigative Team – knowing what was to come still didn't make it any easier.

He continued to study her face as she read the letter, not saying a word; just a minute later, she raised her eyes to meet his across the table – and he _knew_. There was nothing to say – nothing that really _could_ be said – and they were both all too aware of that.

It was Phoenix who was the first to look up and tilt his head, seemingly confused by the sudden silence. "Mum? Dad? Everything alright?"

"We're fine," Tina said quietly, folding the letter and tucking it into the pocket of her jacket. "Everything is absolutely fine, Phoenix – go back to breakfast."

Their eldest son looked unconvinced as he reluctantly cast his eyes back down to his food; Linnet frowned and chewed her cereal thoughtfully as she looked between their mother and father, whilst Leo merely continued to attempt to make shapes with the leftover crusts of his toast. The children would need to be informed, of course, but not now – not at breakfast with the entire day ahead.

Newt held back a sigh and reached for his tea; the day was coming, he had known, he'd been expecting it…but it still didn't hurt any less.

* * *

News of another bombing in central London reached Dorset by the time Tina arrived home; Leo, being the youngest, was none the wiser regarding the war – but his older siblings had caught on by now, even if their understanding of wars were childish and uninformed.

"The paper said it was Germans," Phoenix said softly before dinner; Linnet pretended she was interested in her book, trying to block it out. "They've been bombing the Muggles… Do you think they'll bomb us?"

"No," Newt disagreed quickly, not wanting any of the children to feel frightened. "I shouldn't think so; London is a big city, Phoenix, with a great many people – we live in the middle of the country. I don't think they'll bother bombing the country."

"What about the other people?" Linnet asked, curiosity getting the better of her now. "Grindywall? Will he try to bomb us?"

Their father swallowed. " _Grindelwald_. No, I don't think he'll try to bomb us."

Dinner was a rather sombre affair, though none of the children knew why; they were intelligent enough to pick up on the fact that their parents were sharing oddly furtive and morose looks, but it was unclear as to what those looks meant. Even Leo seemed to realize that things were frostier than usual, and he soon took to pushing mashed up bits of potato around his plate so that he could avoid looking at the rest of the family.

After dinner had been eaten and the washing up done, it was time for the usual ritual of helping to get the creatures settled for the night; it was only once the children had raced out of the shed to eagerly attend to some of the various creatures that Newt gently slipped his hand into Tina's and cleared his throat.

"We need to talk about the letter."

"Yeah…I guess we do."

He took a deep breath before speaking again. "When are you to be…to be…"

"This Friday morning," Tina told him softly.

"But that's so…so soon."

"I'm needed, Newt," She stated, avoiding looking him in the eye; instead, she found herself gazing out over the numerous enclosures and habitats, at the children giggling in the distance as they petted some mooncalves. "They need people to fight and win the war."

Her husband hesitated beside her, clearly uncertain as to whether he should voice his thoughts to her. "Tina, love, it's not that I don't think you should be fighting, it's just that…the children."

"If the Ministry needs me to fight-"

"Our children need their mother," Newt stated, sounding pained. "I know that it's your job and your duty, and I don't begrudge you of that – but the children need you, Tina."

Tina gnawed on her bottom lip, seemingly considering this proclamation. "I know the children need me. I don't want to leave them," She admitted. "You _know_ that I don't want to leave them, but…but I can't stand by while other people – _innocent_ people – are dying."

He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes as her words sank in. "No, I know. I didn't expect anything less of you, really."

"I'll be fine, Newt," She tried to assure him half-heartedly. "I'm not about to break."

"No," He agreed, and he forced himself to smile weakly at her. "I know. You're the strongest person I've met, you know, even if you don't see it… I can't help but _worry_ though-"

" _Worrying_ means you suffer twice," Tina quipped before squeezing his hand and becoming serious once more. "Newt…while I'm gone, the kids are going to need you to be here for them; they're going to catch on about the wars sooner rather than later, and they'll need you to help them. And…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "If something happens to me, then I need you to protect them."

Newt couldn't help but stare at her, wide-eyed by this sentiment. "Tina, don't talk like that…"

"It's true," She countered. "There's a chance it will, Newt, and we need to talk about it just in case it does. What I'm asking is that if something _does_ happen to me and I don't come home…promise me that you'll take care of the children."

His heart ached at the thought, at the very possibility that she would not return home – that she would be lost while fighting, never to return to the children, never to return to _him_. "Tina…"

"Promise me, Newt," Tina repeated, voice harsh but also close to breaking – it was clear that she was only barely holding herself together.

"Of course," He agreed, though it sounded hollow to his own ears. "I promise."

She exhaled and closed her eyes, leaning in to lay her head on his shoulder; her hand was still holding onto his, and it was obvious that neither of them particularly wanted to let go. "Thank you," He heard her whisper, clearly relieved.

The children continued to play in the distance with loud giggles as they ran about; for now they were blissfully unaware of what was to come, and that was how it should have been.

* * *

The night before Tina was due to leave was a rather miserable and unhappy one in the Scamander household; all of the children refused to sleep, and both Linnet and Leo especially shed more than a few tears at the prospect of waking up to find their mother gone.

"I d-d-don't want you to go, Mummy!" Linnet sobbed, clinging to her mother's arm desperately. "Please don't g-go!"

Leo, meanwhile, had started to pull at Tina's trousers as he wailed. "D-Don't want M-Mummy to g-go!"

"I'll be back soon," Tina attempted to soothe them, managing to extract her arm from her daughter's grip. "I promise, I'll be back before you know it."

"Phoenix s-said…" Linnet sniffled and gave a small hiccup. "He said people d-die in war!"

Leo's bottom lip wobbled again. "No! No, Mummy, no!"

"It's going to be fine," Tina assured them hurriedly, and she knelt before them so that she could look them in the eye. "I'm not going until tomorrow morning – I'll still be here when you go to sleep – and I promise that I'll come in and say goodbye to you in the morning."

"A-And…" Her daughter rubbed at her eyes with her pyjama sleeve. "You'll write to us, Mummy?"

She nodded and forced herself to smile. "Of course, I will."

"Every day?"

"Well…not _every_ day," Tina mused, tucking some hair behind Linnet's ear affectionately. "But I _promise_ I'll write as often as I can."

Leo threw his arms around her and buried his face into the crook of her neck. "Gonna miss you, Mummy."

"I know you will," She admitted, and her smile faded away as she wrapped an arm around each of them. "I'll miss you all too."

She made sure that Linnet and Leo were both settled into their beds, pressing kisses to their foreheads and tucking them underneath their duvets, before deciding to attempt to speak to Phoenix; the oldest child had vanished after dinner, remaining remarkably silent, and she knew that it would be best to have a talk with him. She took a moment to listen as she stood on the landing, and then made her way to Phoenix's room down the hall; she could hear voices inside, and she had a strong feeling that Newt was in there with him.

True to her suspicions, her husband was sat on the bed with their eldest son and looking somewhat at a loss; both of them looked up at her as she entered the room, and it alarmed her just a bit to see that Phoenix's eyes were rimmed red.

"I think perhaps you two should have a chat," Newt decided suddenly, standing up from the bed. "I'm going to settle everyone in the case for the night."

"Alright," Phoenix mumbled, looking down at his bed sheets miserably.

The door shut behind the Magizoologist as he left, and Tina found herself staring at her son as she wondered over what to say – over what she _could_ say. "Phoenix…"

"I don't want you to fight," He choked out suddenly, and his eyes were filling with tears. "I know that's stupid and I'm…I'm being a baby, but I don't _want_ you to go to war."

"It's not stupid," Tina murmured, sitting down next to him and shaking her head. "Being honest, I don't really _want_ to go either."

"Then why are you going?" Phoenix retorted, furiously scrubbing at his face to get rid of the tears. "Just tell the Ministry you don't want to go!"

She started to gnaw on her lip, heart sinking down into the bottom pit of her stomach. "It's not as simple as that, Phoenix, it's… I'm going because I know it's hopefully going to protect you: your father and I don't want you – any of you – growing up in a world where it's not safe. Do you understand?"

He sniffled. "Yeah, I do. It's just…" His face crumpled suddenly, tears streaming down his cheeks without warning. "I'm scared."

Her eldest son had never been one for crying: even as a baby, he had usually slept through the night and not woken his parents. His sister and brother were more open to expressing their emotions like this, but Phoenix didn't – perhaps because he knew, as the oldest, it was his responsibility to look after his younger siblings and set an example. To see him in this way – so upset and clearly _distraught_ – was more than enough to prompt Tina to move closer and wrap her arms around him.

"Oh, Phoenix… I know," She murmured to him; he put up no fights, instead leaning readily into her embrace. "I'm scared too."

"But you're an _Auror_ ," He stated miserably. "Aurors don't get scared… Do they?"

"Of course they do," Tina answered, smoothing down the dark hair on his forehead and trying to remember not to lose her composure in front of him – it wouldn't help matters at all. "Aurors get more scared than you know…and I'm scared right now."

There was a lot she was terrified of: she knew that she would see horrific things while on active duty, that she would most likely see her comrades and friends die in front of her. She was frightened of Grindelwald – everyone was, there was no denying it – and of what a Muggle-madman was doing to millions of people across Europe, people like her and the children who were Jewish or otherwise 'undesirable'; there was the fear of dying, of being killed in combat if she took one wrong step, and the fear of being captured and tortured by Grindelwald's followers.

Most of all, though, she was _scared_ that she would never see her husband and their children again – and, really, _nothing_ terrified her more than that thought.

* * *

She had saved her tears for the bathroom, allowing herself to take a moment to cry in the privacy of the hot water. It would probably be the last shower she took for a while, come to think of it, and she _should_ have been attempting to enjoy it for as long as she was able – but she couldn't help it because it was all _too much_.

Fighting was the right thing to do, Tina reminded herself, for it would help to save so many innocent lives and contribute to putting an end to this war – but that didn't mean she was happy to leave the children _or_ Newt, by any means. She loved her family with all her heart, of course, and she didn't want to leave them – but the longer this war wore on, the more danger they would all be in. The children deserved better than to grow up in a world governed by hatred and violence, and she was willing to fight to make sure that such a thing never happened.

It didn't ease the pain at all, though: there was no telling how long she would be gone – or, even, if she would return.

By the time she had gathered her thoughts, the water had started to run cold; she turned it off before stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself. As she dressed, she tried not to think about how distressed the children had looked that evening at the prospect of never seeing her again, and she tried to rid it from her mind – thinking that way would not help at all.

 _It's going to be fine,_ Tina forced herself to think as she eyed herself in the mirror over the sink, and she splashed some cold water on her face to hide the fact that she had been crying just moments before. _Of course I'll see them again – I'm not about to go down easy, for one._

No, she decided, because she would fight – not only for what was right but also because she _wanted_ to come home and see her family again. She _would_ come home for the children, she'd come home for _Newt_ , and she'd make sure of it.

Her husband was still awake when she entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her, clearly waiting for her to join him. She slipped underneath the covers wordlessly before wrapping herself around him in the dark; almost immediately he did the same, his arms strong and firm as they pulled her towards him.

"Do you remember the day that we first met?" Newt asked quietly, almost to himself as he held her. "It was outside of a bank; that Second Salem woman was preaching on the steps, and I bumped straight into you…you were eating a hot-dog, and you looked rather annoyed with me." A brief ghost of a smile flitted across his face, only present a mere second before fading again. "The Niffler got loose and I chased after him: he caused more than enough trouble, of course, and you arrested me."

"Well," Tina said, the corners of her mouth twitching. "You _did_ break the law."

He gave a small, hollow chuckle at this. "Yes, I did. Things escalated rather quickly, didn't they? One minute you were pushing me against a wall, and then the next we were trying to find several of my creatures…"

"And then you were leaving," She murmured, resting her head on his shoulder and laying a hand over his chest.

"Yes, but I came back," He reminded her softly. "I promised I would come back and I did…I even brought you my book, just like you asked."

Tina smiled fondly, though there was obvious pain behind it. "Yeah, you did."

Newt paused, clearly thinking and reminiscing to himself before speaking again. "I wanted to kiss you the moment I saw you again, Tina; I saw you waiting on the docks for me and…and I know this sounds rather silly, but I thought that you looked so beautiful, more so than I remembered – I wanted nothing more than to just kiss you. It would have been highly improper, of course, and I wasn't sure if you would feel the same way…you could have had your pick of any man, really."

"I can assure you I couldn't have," She told him sincerely. "To be honest, you were the first one who showed any interest in _me_ and not Queenie… And I wouldn't have wanted ' _any_ ' man – it's only ever been you." When he didn't reply to this, she continued firmly. "I love you because you're _you_ , Newt, and I mean that."

He was silent for a moment, digesting her words carefully and dwelling on them. "On our wedding night, I…I felt like the luckiest man alive to be with you, to be married to you. I know that you felt rather self-conscious that night, but to me you were – _are_ – perfect; a part of me felt that I didn't deserve you, really, that you could do so much better but…but I will forever be glad that you chose me."

Tina had to swallow the lump in her throat at his words, forcing herself not to cry in front of him – she had to remain strong, she reminded herself, and crying would not help matters at all. "Newt…"

"That first time we made love," He continued, lost in another memory of a much simpler time. "I wanted to make sure you knew how much I love you: I wanted to cherish you, not just for that night but for _all_ of our nights together. I know that it sounds terribly trite, but it's the truth…you've always been the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world to me, and that won't ever change." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes; his hold on her tightened ever so slightly, bringing her closer to him. "You're _everything_ to me, Tina, quite literally: you're my wife, the one person who I'm content to spend the rest of my life with…and you've given me children too. Three absolutely _wonderful_ children who mean the world to me, just as much as you do. For that I'm so thankful."

She had grown quiet and still beside him, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the hand she had pressed against his chest. "You're everything to me too," He heard her murmur. "You're the first thing I see when I wake up every morning – you're the _only_ person I'd want to wake up beside every morning…it's going to be hard, not to wake up like that anymore." When he didn't say anything, she continued on, voice trembling slightly. "I'm going to miss waking up next to you…I'm going to miss _this_ , curling up at night together, miss how warm and safe you make me feel. I'll miss being down in the case, being with our creatures and watching you look after them…and the _children_." Her voice nearly broke at this. "I'm going to miss them so much it _hurts_ , Newt…but I know that you'll look after them while I'm gone. I know that if anything happens to me then they'll have you, and…and that makes it somewhat easier."

For a moment neither of them said anything else, merely cuddled together underneath the covers – and then Tina felt her husband's body shaking against her own, heard him sniff. Before she knew it, he was _crying_ beside her, unable to restrain it any longer; alarmed, she sat up slightly and took his face into her hands. "Newt…"

"I'm so sorry," He choked out, and for a second she thought that he might try to pull away – but then he was pressing closely into her, holding her tightly as if she might disappear before his eyes. "I've been trying to remain strong for you, Tina, I have…but I don't think I can anymore."

"It's okay," She soothed weakly, though the lump in her throat had returned. "You don't need to pretend around me – I'm here."

His breath hitched. "I know. It's just that I'm…I'm _terrified_ , Tina; even though I've tried to tell myself that you'll come home, I can't help but think about what will happen if you _don't_. I know that there's no use in thinking like that at all, it won't change anything, but I can't _help_ it – it's constantly on my mind. I…I'm so scared that you won't go back to us, that our children won't have their mother; I can't imagine doing it without you, Tina, I can't…a-and I can't imagine myself growing old without you either. Whenever I've imagined myself growing old, it's always been with _you_ and only _you_."

"Oh, Newt…" Without warning, Tina could feel her own tears slowly start to fall too. "I know; I worry about that too, every day… I worry that I won't get to see them go to school," She admitted. "That I won't…won't see them _grow up_. I keep thinking about it, Newt: what if they have to grow up without a mother – without _me_? I know that you're more than capable of raising our children – more so than I am sometimes – but I _want_ to be here…I _want_ to see them grow up."

The thought of their children – three bright, beautiful children who she had helped bring into this world and raise – being without her made something in her chest twist painfully. If she were to be killed in action, then there was no doubt that they would be _devastated_ and heartbroken – she was their mother, after all, and they _needed_ her just as much as they needed Newt.

With this painfully present on her mind, she found herself burying her face into her husband's side and allowing herself to cry; Newt's shoulders shook under her arms as he failed to contain his sobs, hands reaching out for her. They sat together in the darkness, holding each other tightly – the last night that they would for an undermined length of time, and quite possibly the last time they might _ever_ be able to.

For a few minutes, they merely wept together in the dark, the weight of what had been both spoken and unspoken hanging around them. The knowledge of their separation coupled with their shared fears seemed to unite them in this moment, for what would perhaps be their last moment, and neither of them wanted to let go – for letting go would mean moving on to uncertainty, to a future that neither of them could be sure of.

It was Tina who composed herself first, drying her eyes on her pyjama sleeve but not letting go of her husband even so; she could feel that Newt was no longer crying against her, though his quiet sniffles seemed to echo in the room. The very idea of leaving him – especially after so long spent _together_ in every way it were possible to be _together_ – seemed wrong and unthinkable to her. Of course, the idea of sitting by and not doing anything during the war whilst so many innocent lives were lost was also unthinkable – she had to do the right thing, even if it meant leaving her family.

"I have to do this," She found herself murmuring, half to herself as she reached for his hand. "I have to."

He inhaled deeply, allowing her fingers to thread with his own. "I know you do. I wouldn't expect anything less." She could feel his warm breath ghosting her face as he shifted, leaning his head inwards so that their foreheads were touching. "I just…I love you. I love you so much…"

"I love you too," Tina sighed, closing her eyes; his body was so solid and alive next to her, a familiar comfort that she would have to leave behind, and in that moment she wanted nothing more than to feel it for as long as she was able. "Newt… Will you make love to me? Please."

Beside her, Newt's breath hitched and his hand tightened around her own. "Oh… Yes," He agreed quietly. "Of course."

Her free hand slowly reached to cup his face as she opened her eyes, looking at him tearfully in the dark; her thumb gently brushed against his lower lip, and it was obvious that she was steeling herself, forcing herself to remain strong. After a brief few seconds wherein they merely held each other's gazes, Tina leaned in and tenderly pressed her lips to Newt's. Beside her, his body seemed to relax a tad and she felt his mouth tenderly reciprocating; she could taste the salt from his tears on his lips, could feel his misery as though it were her own, and she wanted to forget – they both wanted to forget.

Their love-making was gentle and slow that night, neither of them in a rush of any kind – neither of them wanted it to end, for the end of it meant the beginning of an uncertain future. Newt was sure to press soft kisses to her body tenderly, taking his time to worship every scar and every blemish on her skin – everything that made her _his Tina_ ; there were many things he couldn't bring himself to say, for saying them made the entire situation far too real. He was certain that there were things she was thinking but refraining from saying for the same reasons, and he didn't push her to tell him – actions spoke louder than words really.

They finished together, in each other's arms, and for a few minutes neither of them could bring themselves to move – separating would mean getting ready to sleep, and waking up would mean her leaving shortly after. Tina could feel his tears against her shoulder again, unable to hold them in, and she merely held him closer to herself – as though holding on would help.

When they finally separated, redressing in their bedclothes and settling underneath the sheets for what could very well be the last time, she pressed herself against his side and reached to take his hand in hers. Newt's hand squeezed around her own, and he had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'll come back," He heard her promise quietly, voice wavering only slightly. "I'll come back to you, and to our children."

There was no certainty behind this, but he knew what she meant – that she would try, that she would fight her hardest to return to them – and that was enough. His voice was hoarse as he responded. "I know you will. Don't forget, Tina, please."

"I won't."

They fell asleep slowly, pressed together and whispering reaffirmations of love as the uncertainty of what was to come loomed in the dark silence of the room ominously.


	2. Chapter 2

Tina left early the following morning before the children woke up; she crept into each of their rooms before leaving, making sure that they were comfortable in their beds before pressing soft kisses to each of their foreheads. It was somewhat of a struggle to not tear up at the sight of them sleeping in their beds peacefully, at how innocent and at rest they looked; instead she swallowed the lump in her throat, reminding herself to remain strong – she had done her crying already, and it wouldn't make things any better. No, instead of crying she would use the memories of them to motivate her through the hard time to come, to help her stay focused – she needed to come home to them, after all.

Newt was silent as he kissed her goodbye, his lips lingering on hers for a few seconds longer than was absolutely necessary – but she understood. After a last embrace that conveyed so much in so little words, she set off; she would walk out beyond the boundaries of the wards placed on the house before apparating to the Ministry to meet with the rest of the team leaving – from there on, her whereabouts would be classified information.

Her husband watched her go, feeling his heart sink into the pit of his stomach; though he reminded himself not to worry, it was difficult not to – she was his wife, so _of course_ he was concerned for her. After all, his own brother had gone missing just a month before; Theseus had been a decorated and celebrated war-hero, an expert in duelling and fighting – if he had gone missing, then there was no telling what might happen to Tina.

As he watched her start to disappear from view, Newt couldn't help but wonder if this truly was the last time he'd see his wife.

* * *

The children grew quiet over the following weeks after their mother's departure, barely speaking to their father unless absolutely necessary and no longer indulging in fun playtime activities down in the case. Even being around their favourite creatures did little to lift their spirits, the hole caused by their mother's absence too large to be filled.

Newt tried to distract them, of course; he allowed them to do more and more in the various habitats inside the case, more tasks to keep them occupied, and he allowed them to interact with some of the more dangerous creatures (Tina would probably hex him for allowing their five-year-old son near the Nundu, he mused sadly). However, no matter what he did, the children remained deflated and miserable.

He couldn't blame them, really, considering that he felt exactly the same.

The children all coped with their misery in different ways, of course, and it didn't come as much of a surprise to Newt for they were different to each other in many ways. As expected, Phoenix became reserved and more hesitant; as the oldest, he knew it would be his job to set an example for his siblings and to remain strong even if he wasn't feeling so. He would attempt to coax smiles out of his younger siblings, though with little luck, and he soon took to spending time near the Niffler's enclosure – his favourite creature. Linnet had always been the loudest of their children, having no problem in making herself heard – and so it was her silence that was more noticeable. Instead of playing hide-and-seek with Dougal or helping him feed the Mooncalves, she had taken to sitting with her back against the Occamy nest with a book, reading to herself without a word – and it wasn't difficult to explain why: Tina had always sat in the exact same position when she read to the creatures and children.

Leo, on the other hand, had already been the quietest of their children, only speaking when necessary; he was much like Newt in many ways, preferring either his own company or that of the creatures instead of other humans. He was a shy boy, introverted even at such a young age, and his father couldn't help but be a smidge concerned over him; Leo had been extremely close to Tina, for he was the youngest – he had very much been her baby, even now aged five.

It was just a few days after Tina's departure when he found Leo inside of the graphorn enclosure, sitting in the dirt and hunched over; immediately concerned, Newt rushed over to see what was the matter. "Leo…is everything alright?"

His son's shoulders shook as he knelt down in front of him. "'m…'m f-fine." It was obvious that he was crying, even with his face hidden away in his knees.

"Oh… Leo," Newt sighed, tentatively putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know that you don't have to pretend to be fine – come on, why don't we go into the shed and talk about this properly?"

The five-year-old lifted his head to nod, eyes rimmed read and filled with tears as he reached out to take his father's hand. "O-Okay."

It was rather cramped in the shed, owing to the fact that he hadn't bothered to tidy things in a while, and it took him a short time to find two stools for them to sit on; he had to help his son onto his before sitting down opposite, debating to himself how best to approach this conversation. "Alright…now, how about you tell me what's upsetting you?"

Leo sniffed, looking down at the floor – to Newt's bewilderment, he realized his son looked _ashamed_. "It's stupid," He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes to try and remove the evidence of his tears. "It's just… I miss Mummy."

"Ah. Of course you do," The Magizoologist sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm not shocked that you miss her… I miss her very much too."

"It's stupid," Leo repeated miserably. "She's gone to war – can't stop her now. Phoenix said she's fighting the bad guys who hurt people because that's her job."

"Yes," Newt agreed, opening his eyes and nodding. "Yes, she is."

His son bit his lower lip, fiddling with the hem of his shirt agitatedly. "I want Mummy back, even if she _is_ fighting bad people – I miss her. I know she's brave and good because she's doing it, but…but I still wish she was here and not there." He lowered his head. "Am I selfish?"

Newt took a deep breath, reaching to put a gentle hand on his son's knee. "Not at all, Leo – it's completely normal to want your mother here, and I'm sure Phoenix and Linnet want her to be here too." He paused, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. " _I_ miss her more than you can imagine."

"I want her here," Leo repeated, and his voice had raised in pitch – a sign that he was going to start crying again soon. "I miss Mummy's hugs, and her telling us stories…and her tucking me in. It's not the same without her…I…I just want her _h-here_."

Suddenly he was lurching forwards, practically throwing himself at his father as he started to cry heavily; Newt found himself at somewhat of a loss at what to do as he held his son in his arms. Finally, he settled for rubbing soothing circles on his son's back and pushing back mussed curls – so similar to his own – from his forehead.

"Oh, Leo…I know," He murmured, and his voice wavered a tad. "I want nothing more than for her to be here with us – and I'm sure she wants the same, to come home and be with us. But your mother is doing a very important thing in going to war… She's doing it because she hopes it will mean a better future for you three."

"H-H-How?"

"Well… There are some rather unkind people in the world," Newt said carefully, wary of upsetting his son further. "Very dangerous people who want to hurt others. Your mother hopes that if she fights then it will help to get rid of them all – that it will give the three of you a safer future. Do you understand?"

Leo sniffled loudly but started to nod, clutching to his father's waistcoat as he digested the information he'd been given. "I…I _think_ so. Do you know…when she comes back?"

"I'm afraid I don't. I wish I did," He muttered, exhaling slightly. "But hopefully, if we are lucky, the war will end soon and then she can come back to us. That's all I know unfortunately – if I knew more, then I would happily tell you."

His son wiped at his eyes, nodding his head to himself. "Okay, okay… I feel a little bit better now," He confessed, somewhat sheepishly.

"I'm glad," Newt said, smiling; it felt weak and forced, as if he had no choice but to do so. "If you need to talk about anything – especially about your mother – then I'm happy to listen and try to help. I can't promise I'll be particularly useful, but all the same I'm here."

As Leo hugged him once more, appearing somewhat calmer, he couldn't help but reflect on the promise that he had made to Tina before she had gone; he had hardly any idea as to how he was supposed to support their three children through this when he himself was anxious about her, but he would do it.

The children's well-beings were far more important than his own misery and worry, after all.

* * *

Linnet had sat down at the kitchen table that afternoon with the intention of writing her monthly letter to her aunt and uncle, quite content; it was only when had settled in her seat with her parchment and quill (charmed by Newt not to spill ink, just in case) that she realized something was missing.

Her mother.

The thought made her chest hurt; Tina had always been the one to help her with it, making sure that she spelt everything correctly and that her handwriting was as neat as possible. The absence of her mother by her side felt awkward, strange, and it made something cold run through her.

She found herself staring at the parchment on the table, suddenly much more unsure about what to write; there wasn't a lot she _could_ say, really, given that not a great deal had happened – other than her mother leaving to fight in the war, that was. She wondered if her aunt and uncle knew about this, if they had been informed beforehand – her mother _did_ write many of her own letters to them, after all, so it was highly likely.

Hand shaking slightly, Linnet picked up her quill and took a deep breath; she _wanted_ to do this, wanted to continue this habit even if Tina wasn't nearby to help. Her mother would _want_ her to do this.

With that in mind, she started to write.

 _Dear Auntie Queenie and Uncle Jacob,_

 _I hope you're both doing fine, and that you're happy. Daddy looked Bertha the Graphorn over and said that she **is**_ _pregnant, which makes him happy because there are not a lot of Graphorns left and so he wants more to be born. I am happy too because babies are nice._

She paused then, wondering if she should bother mentioning it – but then she reminded herself that she could talk to her aunt and uncle about anything. They would both understand and care if she said something was bothering her, and so she continued on.

 _I don't know if Mummy told you before she left, but she has gone to fight in the war. Daddy says that we can't know exactly where she is or send owls because she has to be top-secret and hide from the bad people. I don't know when she'll be coming back, but I hope it's soon because I miss her a lot._

Linnet gnawed on her lip, ignoring the sting of tears in her eyes.

 _Phoenix is really upset, even though he doesn't say anything – he doesn't even tease me anymore. I kind of miss his teasing now. And Leo is very sad all of the time because he's the baby and he gets upset over everything – he keeps hugging Daddy all the time and not saying anything at all. I'm very upset too because Phoenix told me that war is dangerous and that people die in war – I don't want Mummy to get hurt or die in war._

A tear splashed down onto her parchment.

 _I can't sleep because I'm so sad and scared about Mummy. She was supposed to write this letter with me but because she's fighting she can't, and I don't like writing my letter alone. Mummy is strong and a good fighter and very brave, but so was my Uncle Theseus and he went missing. Daddy is still sad about Uncle Theseus, and so am I because he used to bring me chocolate without telling Mummy or Daddy._

Another couple of tears dripped off of her nose, smudging the words slightly – she ignored them.

 _Daddy is very unhappy without Mummy; I think he is worrying, even though he does not worry. He loves her very much and misses her, and I think he is scared too even though he keeps telling us he's not. He pretends to smile when we are around, but I think he's only doing it because he wants to make us happy even without Mummy. I'm worried about Daddy too, but in a different way to Mummy._

 _I am sorry that my letter is sad. I hope Mummy comes back soon so that my next letter is happy._

 _Lots and lots and lots of love, hugs and kisses,_

 _Linnet_

Once she had put her quill down, Linnet raised her arms up to her face and started to sob; things were so _strange_ without Tina around, so _wrong_ , and she didn't like it. She worried that her mother would be hurt – or worse, killed – in combat, that she would never get to see her mother again. She had wanted to be like her mother for as long as she could remember: brave, strong, an Auror – and now she couldn't help but think that perhaps she wouldn't have the chance to learn more from her, a chance to make her mother proud.

She was still sobbing when Newt hurried in a few minutes later, alarmed as he wrapped his arms around her and tried to offer come comfort. "It's alright, Linnet, it's alright…"

For once – the first time in her life perhaps – she couldn't think of anything to say; instead, she merely buried her face into her father's shirt and let her emotions out.

* * *

It was just over two weeks later that he received the letter from the Wizarding War Department requesting for his assistance in Ukraine; they were attempting to tame dragons for the war effort, and his expertise in the field of Magizoology – plus past experience working with dragons – made him the only man they wanted for the job.

He immediately wrote back and declined.

Three decades ago, Newt would have accepted such a proposal – and he had, in fact, serving on the Eastern Front during the first war. Now, however, it was not possible; he was the sole caregiver to three children, all too young to attend Hogwarts let alone be left alone _at all_ , and his duties as their father came first.

Another, slightly more frantic letter arrived the day after he'd sent his reply off – and again, he wrote back to firmly tell them that he was not leaving England under any circumstances. His duty was to protect the children whilst his wife was gone, a promise he had made and sworn to her – and he had no intentions of backing down on the matter. When the third letter came, it was with the request that he at least offer correspondence from home to advise and assist them in their efforts; Newt agreed to this compromise, for this seemed like a fair contribution to make.

He, like Tina, wanted a better world for their children to grow up in – and while he would not be fighting battles like she was, he could at least lend his knowledge to try and help make a difference.

* * *

On the third week since her departure, a dreadful massacre occurred in Scandinavia; Grindelwald's followers had attacked and overwhelmed a team of fifty Aurors before slaughtering them all in the dead of night. No one survived it at all.

Newt had panicked upon hearing the news, though forced himself to remain outwardly calm for the sake of the children; his only thoughts were of Tina, of whether or not she had been a part of this team who had been mercilessly killed. He kept the news from the three children, of course, not wishing to worry or upset them – there was no point until he knew for sure.

When no news or official Ministry letters came over the following days, he was relieved – no news was better than news, in this case, and he was extremely glad that he did not receive a letter of any kind regarding Tina or her current status.

For now, it meant that she was still alive and fighting – and that was by far the best news he could have wished for.

* * *

A month had passed since Tina had gone when a handsome tawny owl delivered a letter to the Scamander family; Newt felt his blood run cold at the sight of the all too familiar official Ministry wax seal on the back of the envelope, his stomach lurching unpleasantly.

 _Please don't let this be what I think it is…please_.

His fingers were shaking as he broke the seal and opened the envelope, trying not to lose his nerve completely in front of the children; all three of them had noticed immediately, however, and were watching him with wide eyes. He didn't know what he would say if the letter _was_ what he dreaded it to be – he didn't know what _he_ would do with the news, let alone how to tell the children. There was little point in delaying the process, so he carefully pulled the letter from the envelope and opened it out to read.

 _Dear Mr Newton Scamander,_

 _We are writing to inform you that your wife, Porpentina Scamander, is to be discharged from active combat due to unforeseen circumstances. Please do not worry yourself, for she is both physically and mentally well. She is to arrive home on 16th October – she will first visit her superior in the Investigative Department at the Ministry to go over the details of her release for vital paperwork before Flooing to your home._

 _If you have any other queries, do contact us._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Leonard Spencer-Moon (MoM)_

"Dad?" Phoenix's voice was quiet; Linnet was pressed into his side, a rare sight given their proclivity for bickering, and looking terrified. Leo looked close to tears. "Is it about Mum?"

"Yes," Newt said slowly, still staring at the letter in disbelief.

Linnet whimpered. "Oh no…she's…"

Leo's bottom lip wobbled dangerously, and their father cleared his throat hurriedly. "No, it's not that! It's…" He took a deep breath, relief washing over him as the news sunk in, and smiled at the three of them. "Mummy's coming home."

* * *

On the day Tina was due home, Newt and the children had settled into waiting in the living room by the fireplace; the letter had not mentioned a particular time for her arrival, but they wanted to be sure that they were there to welcome her home immediately.

To pass the time whilst waiting, the children had settled into playing board games and drawing pictures; at one point, Newt had helped Leo decide on what colour to make his Niffler in his drawing whilst Phoenix and Linnet started a game of chess. As it turned out, chess between his two eldest children soon became more of a tense battle of who was better – Phoenix was older and more used to the game, but Linnet thought about her moves in greater detail and planned ahead. As the game heated up, Leo forgot about his drawing momentarily in order to watch his older siblings play – he didn't understand chess as well as they did, but it was still entertaining.

"Ready to give up?" Linnet asked, smiling smugly as she took one of her brother's bishops.

Phoenix glared at her, moving his castle forward to attack her pawn. " _Never_. I'm _not_ losing to a _girl_."

This remark made Linnet's smirk dropped, and she glowered at him. " _Oh_ , you're dead."

Within minutes she had taken his King, beaming triumphantly as her brother's mouth fell open in shock; Leo was giggling and high-fiving their sister whilst Newt congratulated her with a kiss on the cheek.

" _How_?! How did I lose to you?!"

"Because I'm a girl and I'm the smartest one in the family," Linnet boasted, giving him a hard shove on the shoulder. "You're just a silly little boy."

Phoenix looked ready to hit her back, and Newt hurriedly cleared his throat. "Alright, no need to get nasty about it. Linnet, well done on winning – you played a good game. Phoenix, you did very well too, and maybe next time you'll win. We're not going to fight about this when your mother's coming home today, are we?"

Both children had the decency to look sheepish as they shook their heads and murmured apologies to each other – neither of them wanted the first thing their mother saw to be them squabbling, after all.

The rest of the afternoon stretched on into evening as they waited; Linnet settled on the sofa with a book, though it was obvious that she wasn't reading as her eyes continued to dart to the fireplace longingly. Leo, who had grown both tired and slightly impatient while waiting, settled against his father's side and appeared to be struggling not to drift off. Meanwhile, Phoenix had taken to alternating between pacing the room and sitting in a chair whilst staring at the fireplace and biting his nails; it was clear that he was quite unsure what to do with himself, anxious to see their mother already.

It was nearly six o'clock when the fireplace suddenly roared to life, green flames bursting up; all of them jolted to life, clambering to their feet as a figure emerged and stepped into the room.

Tina.

"MUM!"

"MUMMY, YOU'RE BACK!"

"Mummy, Mummy!"

She was laughing as all three of the children ran to hug her, wrapping her arms around all of them as best as she could and embracing them tightly; she looked only slightly worse for wear, sporting cuts and bruises on her face, neck and what was visible of her shoulders, her uniform dirty. As the children clung to her, babbling about how much they had missed her and were glad she was home, she raised her eyes to look at her husband.

Newt couldn't help but smile, out of relief, because _she was safe_ and that was all that mattered.

* * *

The children went to bed later than usual that night, overexcited by the return of their mother and wanting to tell her about what they had done since she'd been gone. She had listened, appearing more than happy to be with them again as she smiled and laughed with them. When, finally, they had grown sleepy and exhausted, she put them to bed herself whilst her husband took care of their creatures in the case; she kissed them and tucked them in, revelling in the adoring sentiments of love they gave her. It was obvious that she had missed them just as much as they'd missed her, if not more so.

Once they had settled and fallen asleep, Tina immediately went to the bathroom to shower; she hadn't had hot water to wash herself in for over a month, and it felt _heavenly_ to stand underneath the warm spray as it washed the dirt and grit from her body completely. She washed her hair, trying not to wince when her fingers tugged on a few knotted strands, and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of being home once more.

Having said that, it was difficult not to feel nervous considering _why_ she had been sent home.

Once she had had enough of the water, she got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself; she dried her hair with a quick charm before dressing in her favourite pyjamas. It felt so much better than the uniform she'd been forced to wear, and she felt more like herself than she had in a while. Staring in the mirror at her reflection, Tina noticed the bruises and cuts on her face; they were superficial, and there was no point in wasting time healing such minor injuries when they'd be gone within a week anyhow.

Despite the feeling of ease that came from being at home and _safe_ , however, her hands shook slightly as they gripped the edge of the sink; it had been unlike anything she'd seen before whilst fighting, messy and difficult and _terrifying_. She'd seen people die in front of her, people she had worked with for years, people who weren't fighting but were still tortured for information… It would haunt her for years to come, she knew.

She was lucky, really, even if a part of her didn't feel it – being discharged whilst in perfectly good health was hardly honourable, but she'd had no choice in the matter. The reasons for why would be noted in her file at the Ministry, and she would not be stripped of her job or pension in the future, should she wish to return to her work as an Auror.

But she couldn't bring herself to feel happy about it, at least not yet – she would have to discuss it with her husband first before making any rash decisions. With that in mind, it was with a sigh and an unsettled stomach that she left the bathroom.

* * *

After tending to the creatures and making sure that they were adequately settled for the night, Newt made his way up the stairs and to bed; Tina, fresh from the shower and now in a pair of comfortable pyjamas, was waiting for him in bed.

It felt good to have her waiting in bed for him.

She said nothing as he dressed himself in his own nightclothes, but there was an unmistakeable smile on her face as he clambered into bed beside her; immediately she was embracing him, burying herself into his shoulder, and he couldn't help but wrap his own arms around her.

"I've missed you so much," Tina told him, and she sounded slightly tearful. "I _missed_ you."

"Oh, I missed you too," Newt agreed, squeezing her to himself. "I didn't quite get to tell you earlier – the children stole you away to themselves – but… I am so unbelievably glad to have you home and _safe_."

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and then to her mouth, overjoyed that she was here with him; she laughed against his mouth, somewhat half-heartedly, and kissed him back. Her mind was screaming at her, reminding that she _had_ to tell him certain things, that she _had_ to do it tonight, and so she pulled back before things could get too heated.

"Before we do anything, I…I have to tell you something," Tina confessed, her smile fading rapidly.

"Oh. Of course, love," Newt agreed easily, sitting back on his haunches and smiling encouragingly – a sign he was listening.

She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself to give the news. "I don't know how much they told you about why they discharged me, but…but you need to know why. It's important." When he didn't say anything, she continued uneasily. "A few weeks ago, I started getting sick and throwing up; at first I thought it was because of stress, you know? And the food wasn't exactly nutritious, so I figured it was nothing. But then the medic on our team started to notice, and he wanted to give me a full examination to be safe."

"And?" He sounded concerned. "Is everything alright?"

Tina bit her lower lip, her hand slowly moving to rest on her stomach. "I'm…I'm pregnant."

Newt looked simply _amazed_ , eyes wide and lips parting in surprise. " _Pregnant_?" He repeated, and she nodded nervously. "Pregnant… Merlin's beard." He choked then, emotions welling up in his throat and making it difficult for him to speak. "Oh, Tina…a _baby_. That's so _wonderful_!"

But she was not smiling as he leaned forwards to embrace her, was not _happy_. "I…I don't know how to feel," She admitted quietly, avoiding his eye. "You didn't see what I saw out there, Newt…you didn't see how _awful_ it's gotten. People tortured and murdered without a second thought, so much suffering… It's _terrifying_."

"Tina…"

"It's not just wizards," She continued on, dangerously close to crying. "It's the muggles too – they're rounding people up, innocent people who haven't done anything…women, men, _children_ … They're taking them from their homes because they're Jewish, because they're _undesirable_ to _him_."

He knew enough to know who she was referencing – he was certain the entire world knew who Adolf Hitler was at this point.

"I don't know if I should feel happy," Tina admitted, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "It feels wrong to be happy about bringing a child into a world full of hate; if Grindelwald _or_ Hitler win, then our whole family is in danger – let alone if _both_ win. I'm already so worried about our children, about the three of them… Imagine how I would worry with another one."

Newt sighed, taking her into his arms; she immediately pressed herself against him, her head on his chest. "Tina, I know. I know that it's _awful_ , and I feel absolutely sickened when I remember what's happening out there. I want our children to be safe too, more than anything… But," He added, hesitating slightly. "We were told that it would be impossible for us to have more children, and yet here we are now: something that _shouldn't_ have been possible is happening. We've managed to do it – create this little _life_ – despite all the odds, and I think that's _fantastic_."

"Newt…" But she was no longer crying miserably, looking stunned by his proclamation.

"This baby… _Merlin_ , even saying it," He chuckled, and a tear slid down his face. "We wanted another baby for so long, and now we're finally having one. Granted, it's three years later than what we were planning, but all the same I'm _so_ unbelievably thrilled."

Tina was close to tears again – but this time of joy. "You really are happy…you're _not_ just saying it."

"Tina, I would never lie to you," Newt told her honestly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I really _am_ happy about this – I can't wait to meet our new little one." His hand cupped her stomach tenderly as a tear dropped onto her shoulder.

The noise she made was somewhere between a laugh and an overjoyed sob as she kissed him, all of her worries suddenly dissipating; the war wouldn't go away just because they were having a baby, of course, and it was still extremely dangerous to bring a child into such a world – but they'd manage it, somehow, the way they always managed it.

Together.

* * *

 **I did my research and found out that Leonard Spencer-Moon held the office of Minister of Magic from 1939 to 1948, and this fic is set in 1940.**

 **So, just to clarify; this story is an alternate way that Tina found out she's pregnant with Wren. So it would be an alternate version of "A Glimpse of Sunlight", in some ways, because it would happen instead of that fic. I hope I'm making sense here. (or you can imagine that she's pregnant with a different baby, your call!)**

 **I wanted to write this and upload it quickly because I'm in Disneyland Paris Sunday through to Tuesday, and then at a funeral on Wednesday, so I'll be unable to write or upload until Thursday at the earliest.**

 **I hope that you enjoyed, and please don't forget to leave feedback! It means to world to me!**


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